Curses and Cat Litter
by Razberry
Summary: After angering an Ancient Egyptian spirit, Danny finds himself going through some very unusual changes… and realizes he must rely on some very unusual companions for help. Now he has one week to return to normal and save Amity Park from a vengeful ghost!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Curses and Cat Litter

Author: Razberry

Rating: PG

Genre: Humor

Warnings: None this chapter

Summary: After angering an Ancient Egyptian spirit, Danny finds himself going through some very unusual changes… and realizes he must rely on some very unusual companions for help.

Notes: Hey! Ish mah first DP fic! I'll tell ya guys, this is gonna be a fun one. Sorry to all you Sam and Tucker fans, but I don't think they're gonna be in here much. Some, yes, but not central characters. You can expect Jazz to show up sometime too.

A number in (parentheses) indicates an explanation/definition at the end of the chapter, kay?

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Danny groaned as a green glob of ectoplasm landed with a splat onto his nose. He swiped at it with a gloved hand and scrubbed harder at the stain on the side of the desk. It was a bright, sunny, totally ghost-free Saturday afternoon and Danny was inside. Cleaning the lab.

"I'm sorry, dude." Tucker's voice crackled sympathetically through the speakers on the lab's computer. "That's really unfair."

"Tell me about it," Danny griped into the microphone he was wearing. He scrubbed harder at the spot. "The one ghost-free day I've had in months and I'm spending it down here."

"Hey, me and Sam were gonna go see Bloodbath VII tonight- are you coming?"

"If this spot ever comes out- wha!" Danny jumped to his feet as he heard the telltale whoosh of the Fenton Portal opening. The mike dropped to the floor with a clatter.

"Danny? Danny! What's going on!" Danny heard Tucker's panicked voice call out.

"I'll be right back, Tuck." Danny hoped the other boy could hear him. "Going ghost! …Man, that always tingles." He shook himself briefly and turned to face the portal.

Danny didn't know what he expected, but what came out of the portal certainly wasn't it. A small black feline with a jeweled collar stepped lightly out of the green glow. Danny stood there, unsure of what to do. Was it a ghost cat? It didn't look like one, but it came out of the Ghost Zone so…

The cat seemed oblivious to Danny's dilemma. It stopped, licked its paw, examined the room for a moment, and settled itself in a chair, content to watch Danny.

"Um… here kitty?" Danny tried. The cat stared at him. Deciding that the cat was really no threat, Danny changed back and crept slowly over to the feline, who still watched him with luminous green eyes. "Where'd you come from? You look like a normal cat to me. Do you have a name?" Danny reached towards the jeweled collar and jerked back in surprise when the cat let out a loud lion's roar.

"Whoa, kitty! That's not normal!" Danny went ghost again and backed away from the roaring cat. It began to glow green and before Danny's eyes, shifted into a stunningly beautiful woman with a cat's ears and tail.

"How dare you treat me as some common house cat!" she thundered, pointing a finger dramatically at Danny. "I am the goddess Bast, the Lioness, Patron of Cats, the Perfumed Protector, sister of Horus-"

"I don't care who you are, you're going back through the Fenton Portal," Danny flew at her, hoping he could simply knock her back in and close the door. Of course, things were never that simple.

Bast threw out a hand and tossed Danny aside like he was made of paper. He crashed loudly into a pile of unfinished inventions and thanked whoever was listening that his parents and Jazz(1) were gone for the day.

"Do not presume to order me around! I have come to resume my place as the Lioness Protectress and to be worshipped as I should be!" Her cat eyes glowed with a powerful light and her dark hair whipped around her face. Danny privately thought she looked ridiculous as they were indoors and there was no wind whatsoever, but he kept quiet. "I have been locked away for far too long; these mortals have become lazy and arrogant. I will teach them respect and humility."

"You know, after all this time fighting ghosts, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if something is locked away for a very long time, it's usually for a very good reason." Danny caught Bast by surprise as he fired off a series of ecto-blasts in rapid succession. She shrieked in outrage as she was sent tumbling toward the portal. Danny grinned in triumph.

His face fell as Bast managed to latch onto the portal's frame with one of her clawed hands. She bared her fangs and let out another loud roar.

"I curse you, child, that you may wear the skin of the power you have fought, and watch as I destroy your city for your crimes!" To Danny's amazement, she pulled herself free of the portal's grasp and began to stalk toward him, her tail lashing in fury. "This place shall serve as an example to all others who might think to defy me!" Her eyes blazed a bright green, incredibly bright; Danny threw his arms up to shield his eyes from their brilliance. When his vision returned, Bast was gone and the portal was closed.

With a sigh, Danny floated to the floor tiredly and changed back to normal.

"Man, that was weird," Danny let himself slump to the floor, not caring that the lab looked even worse than when he had started. He jolted up when he remembered the conversation he'd put on hold. "Tucker! I've gotta… so… tired…"

Danny felt himself sag again; his eyes burned as he fought to keep them open.

"…Why…? Sleepy…"

He fell to the floor in an unconscious slump.

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"Sam, something's wrong with Danny!" Tucker's frantic voice shouted at her through the phone.

"Ok, Ok, calm down Tucker, just hang on," Sam spoke soothingly. She shut and locked the door to her room and settled on her bed. "Now, what's wrong with Danny?"

"I dunno! I was talking to him, and I heard this crash, and yelling, and I dunno what's happened to him but there's something bad going on-"

"Look," Sam tried to keep her friend calm, though she was starting to panic on the inside herself. "Meet me at Danny's in ten minutes, we'll make sure he's all right. I'm sure he's got whatever it was under control." She wasn't sure if she was reassuring Tucker or herself.

"Yeah," Tucker agreed. "Yeah, you're probably right. Hurry though."

"I will."

They both hung up the phone with a click, silently hoping that Danny really was all right.

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(1)At this point, Danny knows Jazz knows about his powers, he just doesn't want her involved.

End Notes: Hey people! Just a not: that's a _working title_. It sucks, I know. PLEASE let me know if you think of anything better. Anyway, that was chapter one, whaddya think so far? Good? Bad? Stupid? Tell me in a review! (HINT HINT)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Curses and Kitty Litter

Author: Razberry

Rating: PG

Genre: Humor

Warnings: None this chapter

Summary: After angering an Ancient Egyptian spirit, Danny finds himself going through some very unusual changes… and realizes he must rely on some very unusual companions for help.

Notes: Woo! Part two! I'm on a roll! Anyone else see Reality Trip the other night? I really liked it. I'm not a Freakshow or Guys in White fan, but the thing with Dash and Paulina was nice, and so was the thing with Danny's parents. I don't think it's my favorite movie (I wish there were more characters in it), but it was good. Anywho, on with the fic!

A number in (parentheses) indicates an explanation/definition at the end of the chapter, kay?

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Danny groggily lifted his head from the cold concrete floor of the lab.

_Unngh… How long was I out? _He turned to look at the computer clock, but found himself gazing at a chair leg instead. _Wha-?_

"Mom? Dad?" Danny tried to call out, but he found he couldn't speak properly. Instead, all that came out was a high pitched whine. Danny felt himself begin to panic.

_It's OK, Danny. Get a hold of yourself. You can't talk, and you seem to be a lot smaller than you were. You just have to figure out what exactly did this, and reverse it. Yeah. _Danny took a few deep breaths and headed for the (much bigger) stairs. He took two steps and fell flat on his face. He yowled involuntarily.

_Ow! How did that happen?_ Danny looked down, suddenly realizing he didn't have two legs to stand on. He had four. And they weren't legs. They were paws. The panic he had been suppressing exploded.

_OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod_. He chanted inside his head as he scrambled crazily across the room to the mirror. In his panic, he skidded into the reflective glass; Danny was momentarily knocked silly.

_Right. Calm down. Look around._ Danny regained his composure, looked in the mirror, and nearly lost it again. In the mirror, where Danny Fenton should have been, was a small, black cat. _A cat! I'm a CAT!_

OK, I can deal with this. I just have to find Bast and figure out how to get back to normal. 

Danny, feeling a little better now that he had a (very) vague plan, decided the first step was just to get out of the house. He doubted Bast had gone back into the Ghost Portal; all Danny had to do look for the most chaos in one spot, and chances were Bast would be around.

Carefully, Danny put one paw forward. So far so good. Now two, three, four, one, two, three… He stumbled. This was harder than it seemed. He tried again, and tripped halfway to the stairs.

_Don't I at least get some cat instincts, here?_ Danny griped mentally. He concentrated a little harder, and felt a tiny tingling at the back of his consciousness. Danny latched onto it and took another few steps, this time using his tail for balance. It worked. By the time he made it to the stairs, he was having no trouble walking on all fours. _Yes! I've got it!_

He dashed lightly up the stairs, padded confidently to the door, and… realized he couldn't open it.

_Darn it!_ Danny paced the front hall, his tail twitching agitatedly. _Let's see… the kitchen window pushes out, if it's unlocked…_ Danny ran to the kitchen and hopped onto the counter. _Woah! I just jumped, like, five times my height! That is so cool!_ _…Right, focus._

The kitchen window sat right above the sink, where a pile of greasy dishes soaked in the soapy water. Danny frowned and gingerly reached out toward the tap. He moved his hind leg so it rested awkwardly on the windowsill; his other hind leg stayed on the counter, and his left front paw hovered above the soapy dishes. Danny tensed and kicked off the counter, hoping his new cat body would instinctively twist and land neatly on the sill. Unfortunately, his cat instincts still seemed to be on hiatus; Danny's paw slipped from the tap and he fell with a splash into the dishwater.

Danny yowled loudly and scrambled to right himself. His claws made a terrible screech as they scratched at one of the plates; his hind legs frantically kicked dishes out of the sink where they shattered on the floor. Danny felt his eyes burn as the soapy suds splashed into them. He tried to lunge out of the sink and banged his head hard against the tap. Finally, he managed to grasp the windowsill; his fur was heavy with water, his muscles ached from exertion, and his eyes stung from the dish soap, but he was at the window.

_And I'm not even out of the house yet_. He thought wryly.

Danny lifted a sopping wet paw and pushed against the window. It didn't budge. He tried two. The window creaked a bit, but still wouldn't open. Frustrated, Danny rammed his whole body against the glass. It swung wide open and Danny tumbled out the window with a yowl.

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"Danny?" Sam called out. She knocked loudly on the Fenton's front door. "Danny, open up!"

"Maybe he's downstairs?" Tucker suggested.

It was plausible, Sam supposed, that Danny just couldn't hear them. She hoped that was the case. Still… she tried the door. It swung open with an ominous creak.

"Danny?" She tried again. Tucker motioned for her to go inside. Sam stepped into the front room, and Tucker followed.

"Hey, man, are you here?" Tucker yelled into the basement stairwell. There was no reply.

"Tucker, come here!" Sam's panicked voice called from the kitchen. The dark skinned boy ran to where Sam stood, horrified. The kitchen was a disaster area. Broken dishes and water covered the tiled floor, and the window was wide open. Sam and Tucker apprehensively moved to the sink. Sam let out a terrified gasp and pointed at the tap. Tucker's eyes widened. On the corner of the faucet were a few drops of red liquid.

"Blood?" Tucker leaned closer, hoping it was just cherry syrup.

"There's more over here," Sam indicated the windowsill. "This isn't a good sign, Tucker. What if someone broke in?"

"Danny could handle a burglar- it's gotta be ghost related."

Sam took a few deep breaths to calm the panic she could feel rising within her.

"Let's check out the lab," she finally suggested. "If ghosts are involved, there might be something there."

Tucker nodded. The two of them made their way to the basement, where they discovered a multitude of broken equipment. A workbench had been smashed nearly in half, and a shelf had tipped on its side, where it threatened to spill its contents onto the floor.

"Yeah, it's ghost related," Tucker affirmed. Sam shot him a dirty look; he ignored it. "Hey, what's this?" Tucker bent down and picked up a gold object(1).

"Let me see!" Sam snatched the item from Tucker's grasp and shoved him away. "It's… a necklace or collar of some kind." Tucker tried to take it back; Sam slapped his hands away and examined the necklace closer. "Look, there's an inscription on the inside. It looks Egyptian."

Tucker peered over her shoulder. "How do you know?"

"What's it look like to you, then?"

"…Egyptian."

"All right then. Let's see if we can translate this- it might tell us what happened to Danny." Sam pocketed the necklace and headed upstairs.

"To the internet!"

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(1) Pretend Bast's necklace actually came off in the fight, kay? I'm too lazy to go back and fix it right now.

End Notes: Man, they just missed each other, didn't they? Too bad. Better luck next time, guys. Poor Danny. He's having a rough time of it. Where'd the blood come from? It's really dumb, I'll tell you that right now. Anywho, review, blah, blah…

Also, to **Chaotic Deception**: I'm gonna try to answer some of your questions. One, I don't see the OOCness (but I'm writing, so I'm biased). As far as I know, Sam does not live next door to Danny (the Mansons hate the Fentons, I can't see them living that close), and I'm assuming Sam & Tuck are walking as they can't drive. Plus I needed time for Danny to get out of the house. And if you do see spelling errors, please _tell me_. I'm rather nitpicky about that myself, and I'd hate to be a hypocrite. Anyway, I hope you keep reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Curses and Kitty Litter

Author: Razberry

Rating: PG

Genre: Humor

Warnings: None this chapter

Summary: After angering an Ancient Egyptian spirit, Danny finds himself going through some very unusual changes… and realizes he must rely on some very unusual companions for help.

Notes: Yay! Part three! I really want to thank everyone who has reviewed- positive feedback really keeps me going. To those of you lazy slobs who haven't reviewed (and I know you're out there!)… I love you too, just not as much.

A number in (parentheses) indicates an explanation/definition at the end of the chapter, kay?

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Danny poked his head out of the garbage can; a Chinese takeout box sat haphazardly on his head. He hopped to the ground and swatted the offending box away. Danny winced as his paw brushed his right ear. Subconsciously, he licked his paw and tasted the coppery flavor of blood.

_I'm bleeding? Great. _Danny padded out of the alley and paused, realizing he didn't know where to go. _Sam. I'll head to Sam's house. She's smart, she'll figure out it's me, call Tucker, and we can work this out together... I just hope her parents' are cat people._ He joked weakly inside his head.

His mind made up, Danny trotted down the street toward Sam's. She was only a short five to ten minute walk away as a human- Danny didn't realize how different it was as a cat until fifteen minutes later, when he was only halfway to her house. He tried to take as many shortcuts as he could think of, but there was just no getting around it. Despite the extra set of legs, Danny was getting nowhere fast. Thinking quickly, he spotted a blue pickup truck pulling out of the Nasty Burger, it's tailgate down. He raced over and leapt into the truck bed before the driver could pick up speed.

Danny rode along in the truck for several blocks, then decided to hop out before the driver turned. He was only a short distance from Sam's house now anyway. At the next red light, Danny jumped lightly to the pavement and darted into the alley – a familiar shortcut. He used this alley often when he went to Sam's house as a human. From this angle, someone from the house couldn't really tell if someone else was coming up the alley, which, in Danny's experience, was a good thing. The last time Sam's parents had seen him headed toward the house, they locked the doors and turned out all the lights. Later, they had claimed they were at a fundraiser, but Danny had seen the lace gloved hand of Sam's mother reach out and take the spare key from under the mat. From then on, Danny had always used the alley, much to Mr. & Mrs. Manson's dismay.

Danny reached the back door and stopped. Should he scratch at it? Start meowing? Before he could decide the best way to get in the house, the door swung open and Sam's father stepped out, a large garbage bag hefted over his shoulder. Danny was amused to see the man was wearing thick rubber gloves and a face mask. He would bet anything that Mr. Manson was going to change clothes as soon as he finished with the trash.

Suppressing a snicker (_Did cats snicker?_), Danny darted between Mr. Manson's legs, through the open door, and into the kitchen.

_Well, that was easy._ Danny thought to himself. In retrospect, he really should have known better. Danny didn't even get to the stairs before his way was blocked by a pair of pink-heeled shoes. He gazed upward and tried to look cute and adorable.

"What are you doing in here!" Mrs. Manson's high-pitched voice hurt Danny's sensitive feline ears. "Shoo! Outside!" She grabbed a nearby broom and thrust it at Danny. He jumped to the side only to receive a face full of bristles. Instinctively, Danny skidded in the opposite direction and crashed headlong into a table; the vase that had been perched on it shattered with a crash on the floor. Mrs. Manson turned purple.

"Get out!" She shrilled angrily. "Mangy animal!" She beat at Danny until he was back in the alley. With a huff, the petite woman stormed back inside and slammed the door. Danny skittered out of the alley and away from Sam's house as fast as he could, suddenly remembering why she didn't have a pet. Mr. and Mrs. Manson strongly believed that animals belonged in the wild and that there was no such thing as a domesticated pet.

Danny kept running, the cat in him wanting to get as far away from Sam's mother as possible. Frankly, the human in him felt the same way, so he let himself run blindly for a few blocks before stopping in front of a pizzeria. Feeling thoroughly nauseous, Danny decided it was time for a breather. He'd just rest for a short while, and then he'd make his way over to Tucker's. His head hanging low, he padded wearily to the nearest set of steps and curled up on the warm concrete. Within seconds he was asleep.

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"Did you find anything yet?" Sam paced the floor of Tucker's room impatiently as he scanned the computer screen.

"Not much – you'd be surprised at how much jewelry these people had." Tucker scrolled down the list. "So far, the closest thing I've found is this." He brought up an image.

Sam leaned over Tucker's shoulder to peer at the screen.

"See this symbol?" Tucker indicated a small design on the necklace. "Now look at this." He pointed to the photo on the computer.

"They're the same." Tucker nodded. Sam leaned closer and read the caption underneath the picture.

"The cat goddess Bast was often portrayed holding a sistrum such as this one, depicted on- what? Are you trying to say we're dealing with a goddess now?"

Tucker nodded again. "Uh-huh. Check this out." He pointed to the other side of the necklace, where the image of a cat was etched into the gold.

"How is that even possible? If this Bast person came from the Ghost Zone, how is she a goddess? They're not the same thing – are they?"

They both shrugged.

Sam sighed. "Well, at least we know who we're looking for now. Do some more research on Bast, Tucker. Maybe we can figure out what she wants or where she's going. Chances are, if we find her, we can find Danny."

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End Notes: Poor Danny. He's had a rough day. Sorry about the longer wait. I had some trouble uploading this thing (stupid And I also apologize if you think Sam's parents were out of character. I don't like them much, if you can't tell, so I've probably over-dramatized their characters. Oh well. I think this is one of the only times they'll be in this fic, anyway. Ok, well, hope you liked this chapter, and be sure to review!


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